It has been a difficult, wheel-spinning, feeling tired, wondering why I have been put on the earth, doubting my abilities, living in a messy room and wanting to gas up my car and drive to Montana weeks (two, in fact).I haven't been to my blog, I've written maybe 1200 words in the past two weeks, I've cast an eye over the lovely posts and really nice comments and done... nothing.
I'm working on a love story and I have a scene waiting to be written. The heroine has come back to her home after being months away caring for a kinswoman with a new baby. She arrives late, and she awakens in the night to the quiet sound of music. Someone is sitting outside, softly playing a harp (it's earlier times than now). It's lovely to listen to and she wonders who the musician is.
She is going to go out in search of the player and find the love of her life. It will be a nice scene... But I haven't written it. It has just been one of those difficult stretches of time that come for no particular reason.
Weather? The raveled ends of old griefs? (They say the first year after a bereavement is the worst). I don't know, but it has been a difficult week.
So what am I celebrating?
My friends, (whose comments I will answer this weekend, whose posts I will visit) I am here to tell you that the mood, ennui, exhaustion - whatever - is passing and I know I will be back to my usual form. That is something to celebrate, the knowledge that comes over time that moods do pass, energy does return, the world moves on and you move with it.
Maybe that isn't exactly a small celebration. It is, in fact, a lesson we learn after a long time. What the heck! I'm celebrating it anyhow.
And tonight...maybe...I'll have her pause at the entry to the small courtyard, watching the harpist's fingers move softly over the strings, and have her meet his gaze - and watch his face, somber in repose, warm into a sudden smile.
- - - - - -
This is a blog hop thought of by delightful, funny, enjoyable and very nice Viklit. It is, for me, a way to remember how happy and fortunate I am, and how I am surrounded by good people. (Thoreau said, "I have never gotten over my surprise at having been born in the most estimable part of the world - yes, and in the very nick of time")
Why don't you join? It will certainly make you smile once a week!
Sounds like it's going to be a lovely scene. There's lots of phases in life which come and go, and often it's nice to remember that they do go at one point. Hope yours is on the up-swing :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, T Drecker. Learning that moods do pass is one of the latest lessons I learned. A nice armor against the 'odd days' - but brightened by people like you.
DeleteIt is an inescapable joy to experience the myriad of emotions which make us human.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing your deepest and I sense the spark rekindling...
~Just Jill
Thank you, Jill - It did. And I'm gearing up to get back in the swing of things. (And happy about it!)
DeleteDiana, No matter where you are, your friends are with you (at least, in their thoughts); and no matter how low you might feel, they are there to lift you up if called upon.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that sweet love scene gets you into a brighter frame of mind. Ah, to wish to be young again and yearning...or maybe not. At least, writing about all this "Sturm und Drang" is less complicated--although not always easier.
Curious to know more about the harp-player.
Inge, you are always delightful and understanding. You'll learn more about the harpist shortly. Scrumbles to your furbabies...
DeleteWe are all allowed to have those days. The fact that you can see yourself coming out of the slump is a huge thing to celebrate and definitely share-worthy on your blog!
ReplyDeleteYour story sounds lovely; I adore the harp.
Brandy - Thank you for your insights. I'm always delightfully impressed by the humor, wisdom and insights of the people I have encountered while blogging - no wonder it's addictive. Thank you!
DeleteDon't fret. You'll write that scene and it will be great. When I get stuck like that I'm sure the back of my brain is working out the details for me, and that when it has them all ready I'll have a knock on my cerebral cortex. "Hey! Time to write it."
ReplyDeleteI too like this Small Things Hop. It's very nice to end the week with a celebration.
CLeeMckenzieBooks - I confess that I envy your profile shot! (And you are right about the timing of the scene! Thanks!)
DeleteThis is a great blog hop and I'm so happy that you're starting to come out of that place. I'm familiar with it too and understand just how hard it can be!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Johanna - It's nice to know, though, that it passes. Twenty years ago I'd have been a basket case! (Now I am simply somewhat odd...)
DeleteWish I could join the hop. Plate is full and still recovering from 'summer flu' (on serious meds now). Just wanted to encouraged you to take time to vacation. Sometimes we need a fresh breath of air--even if for a day. The love scene sounds lovely. It will come in time... There is something about summer too that changes the mood. We naturally want to relax.
ReplyDeleteSharon - I think summer flu might just trump everything except, perhaps, the death of one of your best-loved. Now to find a place (I have the perfect spot!) to sit on the end of a dock and swish my feet in cool water.
DeleteThis is my third or forth week with this hop and I really like it. I can tell by your post, you are being lifted up. Continue to climb.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are on the hop! The rays of sunshine I've encountered have been so wonderful. Thank you!
DeleteSometimes you just need a break. Don't beat yourself up over it!
ReplyDeleteWe all have these times. I admire you for recognising it and knowing that it will pass. I wish you well. Sometimes we all need a break, space, to allow ourselves time to feel those emotions then move on.
ReplyDeleteMaybe after your getaway, you'll be open to writing your scene. I've been very slow going too and hoping for a jolt of writing inspiration and a sufficient amount of open time to make use of it. So now, I'm wishing that for us both! Writer’s Mark
ReplyDeleteDiana, I have nominated you for the Liebster Blog award. If you choose to accept, please visit my blog for more information. http://www.cathrinaconstantine.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI am flattered and will gladly participate (and will visit your blog). I may take a week or three to finish, but it should be fun!
DeleteThere was such a wealth of support, kindness and wisdom in response to that post, I am touched and flattered. Thank you all!
ReplyDelete