Today I am celebrating surviving.
It has been a difficult, wheel-spinning, feeling tired, wondering why I have been put on the earth, doubting my abilities, living in a messy room and wanting to gas up my car and drive to Montana weeks (two, in fact).
I haven't been to my blog, I've written maybe 1200 words in the past two weeks, I've cast an eye over the lovely posts and really nice comments and done... nothing.
I'm working on a love story and I have a scene waiting to be written. The heroine has come back to her home after being months away caring for a kinswoman with a new baby. She arrives late, and she awakens in the night to the quiet sound of music. Someone is sitting outside, softly playing a harp (it's earlier times than now). It's lovely to listen to and she wonders who the musician is.
She is going to go out in search of the player and find the love of her life. It will be a nice scene... But I haven't written it. It has just been one of those difficult stretches of time that come for no particular reason.
Weather? The raveled ends of old griefs? (They say the first year after a bereavement is the worst). I don't know, but it has been a difficult week.
So what am I celebrating?
My friends, (whose comments I will answer this weekend, whose posts I will visit) I am here to tell you that the mood, ennui, exhaustion - whatever - is passing and I know I will be back to my usual form. That is something to celebrate, the knowledge that comes over time that moods do pass, energy does return, the world moves on and you move with it.
Maybe that isn't exactly a small celebration. It is, in fact, a lesson we learn after a long time. What the heck! I'm celebrating it anyhow.
And tonight...maybe...I'll have her pause at the entry to the small courtyard, watching the harpist's fingers move softly over the strings, and have her meet his gaze - and watch his face, somber in repose, warm into a sudden smile.
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This is a blog hop thought of by delightful, funny, enjoyable and very nice Viklit. It is, for me, a way to remember how happy and fortunate I am, and how I am surrounded by good people. (Thoreau said, "I have never gotten over my surprise at having been born in the most estimable part of the world - yes, and in the very nick of time")
Why don't you join? It will certainly make you smile once a week!